Welcome to My World: From Singing Potatoes to Parsley on the Tube
Before a night out, I always make a pact with myself—a grand mission, a challenge to rise above my usual antics. The goal? To finally embody the fabled "dark feminine energy." You know, that elusive aura of mystery and allure as promised by @psychicpenny244 from Pennsylvania. a regular feature on my Instagram reels (yes - I'm a reeler. I don't have Tiktok - not because I'm too cool; I simply don't have the storage on my iPhone 7. God that sounds lame). Anywayyy...according to her, this energy is the holy grail of attraction.
Spoiler alert: I’ve tried it many times. It never works. Turns out, my natural disposition isn’t so much "mysterious temptress" as it is "person desperate to tell you about the woman eating parsley on the tube." And let me assure you, that parsley story slaps. (Brad in the smoking area agrees—he even gave me his lighter as a reward, which I felt was quite ceremonious. I don’t smoke, by the way. Cigarettes are just props in my doomed quest for broody mystique.)
So, what can you expect from this blog? In truth, not much. There will be no life-changing revelations or groundbreaking insights. It’s just a bit of fun. Not that deep. I’m never going to be that enigmatic woman who floats through life, leaving people wondering, Who is she? No, you’ll know exactly who I am because I’ll have told you—probably in excruciating detail, complete with tangents about parsley and Brad (btw, he wasn't actually called Brad. Think it was Hugo. Or Henry. Let's stick with Brad though - far edgier, signifiantly less 'posh' - the latter is important given my name ).
Now, for a proper introduction: I’m an actor and a writer. My best review to date? A glowing endorsement from the Fringe website that simply read, “funny, thank God.” (High praise, no?) Oh, and the photo you’re looking at? That’s from my very first starring role—as a singing potato. Yes, really. Thankfully, I’ve moved on since then, but it’s nice to remember your roots. (Pun intended.)
Sometimes, I do get serious (ahhh cringeeee!). I do take what I do quite seriously (not in an overly earnest way though. I'm not exactly finding the cure for cancer; don't worry - I am very self-aware).
So, if you enjoy waffling anecdotes, the occasional deep thought, and a guaranteed lack of "dark feminine energy," then you’re in the right place. Stick around—I promise it’ll be a ride. Maybe not a mysterious one, but at least it’ll be "funny. Thank God".
Lol, maybe this is all just a red herring?
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